Mayer. From his Jennifer Aniston album

Think we'll never fall into the jealous game?

The streets are flood with blood of those who felt the same

                                        - John Mayer, "Friends, Lovers or Nothing"

Honesty. Always the best policy.

I just wanna take you out and get you drunk

So I can have my wicked way with you

                                        - Ben Taylor, "Wicked Way"

How do you say "no" to this proposal?

Together can never be close enough for me to feel that I am close enough to you

You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you

and

Promise me, you'll always be happy by my side

I promise you, I'll sing to you when all the music dies

                                        - Train, "Marry Me"

Written for my grandmother's memorial

Contented soul, well of laughter

Song-filled heart, gentle voice,

Soothing hands, clasped in prayer

Matriarch of grace and poise

 

Slow decline, hands a-tremble,

Forgiving heart, inspiring will

Watchful for as long as able

Remembered now, a comfort still

                                         - jdanthony, November 2007

 

                                        

Of Chastity and Catholicism

Come on Virginia, don't make me wait

You Catholic girls start much too late

                                        - Billy Joel, "Only the Good Die Young"

Nature vs Silicone

He used to do surgery

For girls in the eighties

But gravity always wins

                                        - Radiohead, "Fake Plastic Trees"

What's in a name?

I'm doing enrollment and visa requests for two candidates from Sri Lanka. 

Their names are both unpronounceable, and 14 and 15 syllables respectively. Which may seem a lot to you, until you consider that my dad, who is also Sri Lankan but born and bred in Malaysia, has a name of 23 syllables.

Seems to be a national epidemic. Thank God for the copy and paste function. 

I think if Lankans are required by law to shorten their names, it would improve their national productivity, and hence increase their GDP by a huge percentage. Besides the time taken writing them down, don't forget the amount of time, toner and ink used in the printing of bank statements, tax forms, phone bills, etc.

People who work in and with the country often mention how long it takes to get things done, and how inefficient Sri Lankans seem. I've just discovered the cause behind this tarnished reputation. Its all the time taken writing down names.

Imagine being a class monitor in school, taking names of those that misbehave. Never mind education standards in Singapore, THAT'S how you induce stress at a young age.

My dad gets evil stares from government personnel who need to fill out his name in official forms. The other complication is the fact that most offical forms don't have enough squares to fit his whole name.

There are many things you are thankful to your parents for. Most of them are quite common, i.e. roof over your head, food in your stomach, your first Barbie/Transformer, introducing the birds and the bees as briefly as possible and not going into the details of how many different ways mom and dad can do it.

I have a unique one. I am eternally and unsurpassably grateful to my father for disregarding naming conventions and shortening mine to just 7 syllables.

Happy Father’s Day, daddy.

I sang this song at a talentime thing when I was three. It was a small town.

I was raised in the canebreak by an old mama lion

Ain't no high toned woman make me walk the line

                                        - Tennesee Ernie Ford, "Sixteen Tons"

The Death of Kwai Chang Caine (originally written on June 5th, 2009)

Let's face it. Ask anyone, and David Carradine would not come up on their list of top ten best male leads. Probably not even on their top twenty list. Despite this, Mr. Carradine was an icon, and remains a legend.

His roles were varied and oft times eccentric, but the one I (and most of my generation) probably remember him for is the role of Kwai Chang Caine from the tv series "Kung Fu". Affectionately called Grasshopper by his Shaolin masters, the line I'll always remember is, "I am Caine. I will help you." This line was always delivered in his deadpan, expressionless way (something he unfortunately took to all his acting roles, although he tried his hardest to emote), but as Caine, a righteous Shaolin monk leading a life of discipline and self-sacrifice, it was particularly....appropriate. He did not help because he was emotionally affected by the injustice of this week's episode, nor because he saw an opportunity for personal fulfillment. It was just the right thing - the humane thing - to do; helping a fellow man/woman in need.

But Kwai Chang Caine is dead. I remember a time in my life when I wanted to be a Shaolin monk walking barefoot through the Americas, playing my flute at night when I'm lonely and saying, "I am Caine, I will help you" to all these beautiful damsels in distress. I also related to his guilty conscience after he'd shagged some of those damsels. Like Catholic priests (or single Catholic men), Shaolin monks are apparently supposed to be celibate. I've since got over that particular hang-up, while catholic priests have found a workaround (altar boys). Sorry, can't help it, especially with all the news coming out of the Irish investigations.

However, I've decided to do a tribute to Mr. Carradine. I asked Sir Elton if he'd help, but he was otherwise occupied, so I decided to do it myself. Long live the legend.

Goodbye Carradine,
Though I never knew you at all,
You had the grace to hold yourself,

As they stormed the temple walls,

Ran off to the New World

Where you helped the weak and the small

With all your constant flashbacks,

You still had time to do it all

And it seemed to me, you lived your life

Like a Shaolin in the wind

Never giving up or leaving

Til the good guys win

Though I would’ve liked to’ve known you

But I was just a kid

They took “Kung Fu” off the airwaves

But your legend will always live.

                                        - Music by Sir Elton John, "Candle in the Wind"

                                          (if you haven't already guessed)

Dedicated to the Notorious B.I.G

I ain't got no motherfucking friends

That's why I fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker

                                        - 2Pac Shakur, "Hit 'em Up"

Where, pray tell?

I took my time, I aimed real good,

And I shot him where a smart girl would

                                        - Liz Longley, "Gun & the Gold"

Shakespeare (accurately) condensed

Now you say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah"

"You know I used to have a scene with him"

                                         - Mark Knopfler, "Romeo & Juliet"